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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Accountability Check-In

I'm here to admit I messed up!  Sunday was a really hard day for me as far as cravings.  It was just a real battle.  I started wrong by allowing myself 2 blueberry PopTarts for breakfast.  I hadn't bought any in a few weeks.  I like that they are easy and fast for Sundays and can be eaten on the go if need be, but at the same time I feel guilty for buying them much because they are so awful for you.  Well, 2 of those was 11 points+.  I had my whole day planned out, so it really shouldn't have been a problem.  The problem was that I was already craving junk and should've told myself no and had a much healthier breakfast!  By the time I added half and half in my coffee and points for two turkey sausage patties, breakfast was 14 points+.  If I had some weeklies or APs left, that would've been a little more okay.  But I didn't!


We had salmon, baked potatoes, and broccoli and cheese for lunch that I cooked at home.  Hubby had 2 dinner rolls with his. I passed.  I was really trying to be good!  I felt irritated and hungry still after lunch.  Why does PMS make me want to eat?!  I washed some fresh raspberries that I had bought the night before at Kroger.  As I was eating them, I was wishing I hadn't forgotten to buy some Dove.  Then I remembered leftover chocolate morsels from the pancakes.  I dug them out and poured a few on my napkin.  I would guess I had 4 points+ worth, but I didn't even want to know at that moment.  I feel irritated that I have to try to lose weight.  So I enjoyed having the chocolate with the raspberries.  I lied to myself and wrote down the raspberries on my journal but not the chocolate chip morels.  That's pretty pathetic.  It made me mad at myself.


When heading out to church, I grabbed a chocolate chip granola bar and thought FORGET IT!  When church was over, I told hubby I wanted fast food.  We went through a drive thru.  Then we took home a carton of ice cream and had some. <sigh>


Of course, I went to bed feeling like a loser.  I knew better.  I went over in my mind how I could've handled things differently.  When I woke the next morning, I decided to go ahead and write down EVERYTHING that had went into my mouth the day before!  No deceiving!  So I did.  Besides being bummed at my choices, it felt really good to journal and be honest.  It made me feel more like moving forward if that makes sense.  The air was clear!


Bad thing is, yesterday was our girl's day with my friends R and V.  R and I realized it was V's bday.  We decided to pretend we didn't know and let the Mexican restaurant embarrass her with the big sombrero and whipped cream on the face!  I met up with them at about 1:45, and we went straight to eat.  When I found out I would be eating Mexican, I decided to only eat 2 turkey sausage patties and a pear for breakfast.  I mean, the Mexican was gonna badly mess me up but at least I could save points here and there.  :-/  We had a nice meal, and we were surprised to find out V had never had that done before!  Lol


We had a blast shopping together for several hours.  We are an odd mix of friends.  V is 43, I am 36, and R is 28.  When we get together, we act like kindergartners - especially V and I, according to R.  Ha!  On the way home, we got some ice cream from McDs.  We didn't eat again while out, though.  I decided to honestly journal again because I need to be honest with myself.


R had some pictures on her phone from her wedding shower.  Ouch!  When I'm standing, I don't feel so horrible about myself.  She had 3 pics of me SITTING.  Not a pretty sight! Not pretty AT ALL.  I had her email me the pics this morning so I could use them for motivation.  It worked today!  Lol


Today, I have been tracking every bite, staying on plan, and I made sure to get to the gym.  Piano lessons were cancelled for today.  I did 6 minutes on the elliptical for warm-up, 3 arm machines, and then 6 minutes cool down on the treadmill.  I got there 35 minutes before daycare closed, so I really had to hurry up.  I really feel like I got a good workout, though.  I burned 100 calories between the elliptical and treadmill, and I have no clue how many calories you burn when doing weight machines.  That's the first time I've done weights in like 3 months.  It felt good to do them again.  Plus, my ankle is really messed up since Saturday.  I knew I couldn't walk the treadmill for 30 minutes, and I knew 30 minutes on the elliptical would mean I'd die.  LOL


Oddly enough, when I weighed Monday morning after my Sunday night fiasco, I was back down to my weigh-in weight!!!  After Monday, though, I was back up the 2 pounds I lost last week.  Hated seeing that, but I knew that I deserved it.


Let's see.  Someone mentioned I should take a picture of what I got myself for 5 pounds off.  Here ya go.  Nothing fancy.  Some $1 nail polish from Dollar General and my Cover Girl Smoochies in a new shade that I've never tried.  :)


I promised an update Monday or Tuesday, so I decided to follow through on that, even though it's not a good report.  I'm disappointed in myself, but at the same time I'm proud of myself for jumping right back in head first and deciding to finish out my WW week despite many fails!  I may post a recipe tomorrow.  Is anyone enjoying that?  I don't get many comments on those days, so I'm not sure if the recipes might be too boring.  Lol  I'm no fancy cook!  :)  I will def be back on Thursday to report how my WI goes, whether good or bad!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Feeling Weaker

I am still tracking everything, but I can tell it's getting closer to "that time" because I want to eat in a bad way over the past couple days!!!  Argh!  It's sometimes just no fun being a woman!  For lunch on Thursday, we decided to have Chinese.  M-Th for lunch is the cheapest time to go for us since one child is now apparently an adult in China.  :)  I also had a 10% off coupon.  I did so good not eating Chinese last week with my friends, so I decided to have that this week.  I really did very well at the buffet.  I left not feeling the least bit stuffed.  I only got the things I really liked.  I had 2 plates and a bowl of soup, and I left something in each of those dishes.  Everyone had a scoop of ice cream for dessert, but I just had a coconut macaroon a bit bigger than a quarter.  I have absolutely no clue how to count Chinese food.  I'm sure it was well over 40,000 points.  Ha!


Supper that night was planned out to be chocolate chip pancakes.  I figured that was pretty good since it doubled as a dessert of sorts.  I had nothing in between the buffet and supper other than water.  I had 3 pancakes and 2 slices of turkey bacon and counted points for all that.


Since I had no clue how to calculate points for the day, I decided to say that I had used all my daily points plus all but 20 weeklies.  I'm sure it was really over that, but if I have a time where I just really don't know how much damage I've done I leave myself somewhere between 10 and 20 weeklies to carry me through.  I mean, I had Chinese on the first day of my WW week (which in retrospect was stupid - should've had the Chinese on Monday for lunch!).  I knew I couldn't mark off all 49 weeklies and make it through.


I got lazy that day and never made it to the gym. I knew I should've went BEFORE eating out, but hubby wanted to be there at a certain time so I couldn't make it.  I was disappointed in myself for not going, but at the same time my ankle was feeling sore so resting was probably a good idea.


On Friday, I was very proud of myself.  I went swimming with the kids for 2 solid hours.  Although I didn't actually swim the entire time (I did some), I was in the water and moving constantly.  I did exercises in the pool.  I swam.  I raced with the kids.  I doggy padled. I just made sure to keep moving.  A friend put my weight and 120 minutes of activity as "low" in her app for me.  It said I earned 10 APs!  Wow!  She had figured it on moderate, and it said like 16.  I had her change it to low just in case.  I decided to count myself as earning 8 APs to be on the safe side.


After showering and getting ready to leave (and realizing I had forgotten to pack some very important clothing items!!!), it was already 1:30.  We were all very hungry.  But I resisted the urge to do the fast thing and eat out.  I have learned that being hungry doesn't mean you are dying when you are healthy and weigh what I weigh!  I could last a good while.  ;)  We came on home and had sandwiches and chips by 2 pm.  I don't think a sandwich has ever tasted that good.


Being in the sun will wear you out.  Oldest daughter and I got pretty red, even though I did apply sunblock to all of us before leaving the house.  Hubby is in the weather all day with meter reading.  It was a hot day, and then he even went to Publix for my weekly items when he got off work because he was working in that area.  We had planned to grill out that night and have pizza Saturday, but I asked him if he'd rather do the pizza for supper Friday and grill Saturday.  That sounded good to him, so that's what we did.  Only problem is, we also ordered cheese bread and hot wings.  This is a local place, so their wings are super tiny, but still.  I counted them as 1 point each and counted for the ranch and all.

The bad came when I asked my husband if he would like some dessert.  What is even dumber than already dumb about that is I had NOTHING in mind.  Not one thing was something I just had to have.  I just wanted something sweet.  I would've been smart to have eaten just a couple blocks of Dove or something.  So he brought home cookie dough brownies.  I made them and ate some.  I did eat less than usual, so that is a victory of sorts.  I just REALLY didn't need to add those points onto my day!  After totaling all my points, I had eaten all 20 weeklies left plus my 8 APs.  :-/  Bummer.


I weighed this morning and was up 1.5.  Things have been fine today, though.  I had a good breakfast.  Hubby grilled and I made sides.  Tonight's supper is a Smart Ones for 7 points I have on hand.  In fact, at this point, I will still have 6 points+ left over at the end of the day.  I need to get in 2 more f/v servings and find a smart way to eat up the 6 points.  I'm good on my water intake even though it's Saturday.


I'm about to go grocery shopping at Walmart and Kroger.  I guess that will get me some walking for today, although I'm not gonna count it as APs.  I already have tomorrow's meals planned out.  I'll be cooking at home.  My only concern at this point is Monday.  My friend is getting married Friday night.  The bride and a mutual friend and I are gonna spend some girl time together on Monday shopping for things the bride will need.  I'm sure we'll eat out while together.  I have no clue where at or what to expect.  I need to really be extra good on Monday.  I so want to make it through this WW week w/o it being a fail!


I also want to make it through this week because some of the next week I won't be tracking.  We will leave for a family camp in Indiana on Monday the 3rd and not be back until very late Thursday night.  This will involve eating on the road and then eating what is served at camp. There are gonna be games, fireworks, activities, evening preaching services, and lots of fellowshipping.  I am told there is a homemade ice cream night.  I have a friend there who always talks with me about how she struggles with her weight.  We lament the fact that we aren't skinny and help each other not eat like cows.  Lol  So even though I won't be pigging out, there is no way I'm walking around with my notebook and pencil tracking food while being there with all those people and having all that fun! :)


So here's to doing good the rest of this weekend and all into the week!  I'll report back at some point on Monday (well, possibly Tuesday since I have plans Monday) and let you all know how things are going.