I didn't disappear for bad reasons! I did get back to the gym last week. I even had my hour session with a personal trainer Wednesday morning (two free sessions came with membership). The lady was super nice. Turns out she was homeschooled her entire life and homeschools her children now, so I felt like I had something in common with her right away. I was a bit embarrassed because we sat at her desk, which was next to a full-length mirror. I tried to ignore my reflection. Ugh. She wanted to know what my goals were. For meanness, I should've said, "Well, I don't want to lose this physique!" :) But I told her I've struggled with being overweight for 13 years of our 15-year marriage. I told her if it's out there, I've tried it... for 2 weeks anyway. I was honest with her. I told her about my knee and ankle problems. Then I told her that I finally figured that even if I can't eat right, I can at least exercise! But I let her know that swimming seems to be making me hungrier, so I'm not actually losing any weight. She acted like that was very common. I told her that has made me want to feel more comfortable in the actual gym part of the gym - not the pool. :) We decided to do arm exercises and machines for my first session.
According to the list she wrote for me, I did three sets each of bicep curls, arm extensions, lat pulldown underhand, lat pulldown overhand, tricep rope down, tricep rope pull back, and stretching. I warmed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill and cooled down with 8 minutes on the bike. As I got off the bike to walk back over to her desk with her, my exercise skirt got hung on the bike handle. LOL! That's happened like 3 times now. Glad I have leggings, too! Ha! The worst part of the workout was stretching in front of a full body mirror. She noticed my awkwardness and gave me a puzzled look. I told her it was extremely hard for me to look at myself. Mirrors don't lie. I mostly avoid mirrors other than my face. So it was difficult. She told me I had to look at myself stretch so I would know I was doing it right. She also told me I had to learn to accept and love my body now so that I will have the desire to love it and change it. I honestly think I would need psychological counseling before that could happen! LOL By the next morning, my arms were super sore and I was aching. Ouch!
I will do another session with her, hopefully this week, and she will teach me some leg machines. I'll have to be careful with those, though. She said the water is really great for my legs because of my knee issues. The water is so non-stressful. :)
Went out of town on Thursday and stayed gone until late this evening (Saturday). We attended a really good church conference on the family. I was encouraged in a lot of ways but also felt conviction over areas where I know I have started slacking in my own life and in mothering my children Also, though, it was good to exchange stories with other parents and realize that everyone's life with kids is basically crazy. :) We got to see friends that we don't see too often, and the kids had a blast playing with several kids their age. I always love going down to the church we were at this weekend.
I am still reading Carb Nite. It does make sense. I just really wonder and ponder and agonize over whether it's worth it to even try. I've got pretty low dieting self esteem. LOL I am not happy with my physical health right now, though, so I have to do something. An elderly lady asked me if I was pregnant. :::sigh::: I gave her my standard response, "No, I'm not. I'm just fat. I'm at my heaviest weight ever, and most of it is in my stomach." She apologized. It's not her fault. Some people will swear to me I don't look pregnant. Then I'll have random people ask. I think a lot of it has to do with what I am wearing, too, though. My babies were from 8 lb, 15 oz up to 9 lb, 10 oz. I carried them REALLY high. I used to get teased that I carried my babies in my nose. So my stomach is all stretched out. Whenever I gain weight, it shows up in my stomach really bad.... my upper stomach. Not lower belly fat like normal women have that is hidden beneath pants or skirts. Nope, leave it to me to not be normal!!! Most of my stomach is above the waistline, protruding, so it really can look like a pregnant belly. Argh. So my new philosophy with women is do NOT ask if they are pregnant unless a body part is sticking out!!! Lol
Now I'm home, the kids are in bed, hubby has fallen asleep on the couch, dirty clothes are all separated and in the washer or dryer, and I'm blogging. Just wanted to take a minute to update on my super exciting life <sarcasm> and let you know I'm still here!!!